I’ve never seen a page like this before so I think this is mostly to help me, when I go to pitch at writing conferences. I tend to write out my pitch in really beautiful prose. In the past I’ve even memorized it, but then when I sat down across from the potential agent, I’ve realized what I need is a conversation, not a monologue.
That being said… I’m really good at talking. I was a tour guide for over ten years.
Anyways, here’s my pretty pitches.
Witch Ghost Dog Clone
This trilogy (each book about 90 k) is made up of braided first person narratives, and set in the witch-ocracy of Tovar joined to New Jersey by a very open portal.
Sarcastic zombie who’s too kind for her own good.
Naïve clone from Philadelphia exploring fairyland.
Were-miniature schnauzer suffering from PSTD.
A bat-shit crazy ghost who either wants the others to stitch up a tear leading to yet another world… or to use the third world’s power to conquer the undeserving masses.
Between 70 and 90 k, this book uses mythology from all over a world but especially folktales from Southeast Asia (Bridger is Vietnamese-American) and the indigenous people of the New York area (another character is the Hudson River who has not forgotten he was once worshipped as a god).
Bridger Hahn is a solitary mail carrier, whose route takes him through hell, fairyland, and into a retirement community for dead and dying gods. If he can survive his route, his mother, and the constact attacks of an unfeeling universe, he might true love and becomes the next Santa Claus.
A rom/com for fans of literary horror, ala Welcome to Nightvale, John Dies at the End, and Everything, Everywhere, All at Once.